Jobs are like stepping stones, jumping from one to the next, like frogs to lily pads. When I turned 15, I got working papers from school, and started bagging groceries at Star Market. My uncle got me the job there. I had no prior work experience, so my options for work were limited. I was taught how to bag groceries, eggs and bread, cereal and milk, fruits and vegetables. I didn't take me long to get the hang of things. Eggs on the bottom, bread on the top what was the constant reminder at work. Going to work, and making my own money gave me a sense of responsibility.
Working 3 days a week put some money in my pocket. I'm 15 years old, so any amount of money was good money to me. I had no bills, I had no responsibilities. Just me to worry about. I worked every weekend, that's when the store was its busiest. I met lots of people, and learned a few things along the way. The boss liked me. I knew a promotion was coming, Steve, my manager kept talking about it. Shortly after turning 16, I was trained to be a cashier. It was a big deal. Steve made sure to constantly remind me of that. Ms. Toon trained all of the new cashiers. I remembered her telling me that I had two left hands, because I couldn't figure out the swim technique, a constant flow of product moving over the scanner. I was very good at dealing with busy lines, and speaking with the customers. Ms. Toon liked that about me. She'd always praise me. That made my 16 year old head blow up like a balloon. Couldn't tell me anything. In those days, a kid being a cashier was a big deal. My friends were always jealous, I'd always have the newest sneakers on at school. I wasn't selfish though, I would treat my friends to candy and chips at the store before school. I worked at Star Market for about two years. At first, it was fun and games, but it soon got serious. As I started my second year working, people started looking up to me. People older than me were coming to me on how to do something at work. I knew how to handle it. I embraced it. I learned from it. I learned how to be a leader. That carried on with me throughout the years. I was vocal, and asked lots of questions. Not out of curiosity, but because I wanted to learn, I wanted to grow as an individual.
I worked plenty of jobs after Star Market. They all had one common factor, they were all leadership roles. Working at Star Market gave me a backbone. People knew when I was around. Being 16-17 years old, it was a lot to put on my shoulders, but I wanted it, I needed it. It was the underlining key to my later undiscovered success that I hadn't known about yet. I viewed things differently, I processed things at a much higher level. I wanted bigger and better. That was my mindset. That's what I worked towards. After I look back at things, I was put in positions and situations for a reason. People came in and out of my life for a purpose, always leaving something for me to remember before they moved on or stayed. I figured this out early on during my time at Star market. I remember working at Au Bon Pain as one of the managers. I worked my way from the bottom, and again my leadership driving me to the top. Ms. Murphy, the district manager took me under her wing. I used to tell her all the time that she should be worried about her job, because I was coming for it. We worked well together. She looked up to me, as I did her. One day I slipped up. I didn't open the store on time one morning. I was taken off the schedule for a week. I let Ms. Murphy down. It was difficult for me to face the music, but I knew eventually I had to. The following week, I was put back on the schedule. the store was open right on time with an early morning visit from Ms. Murphy. She sat me down and looked at me with her glasses hanging off her nose like they always do. She said "Do you know why I took you off the schedule?" I gave her the obvious answer. "Because I didn't open the store on time right?" She replied no, "that's why we have two managers open." She said that she wanted this to be a learning experience more than anything. She told me that it's important for me to learn hurt and failure early in life, and that it's not always going to be smooth sailing. At first, I thought it was sort of harsh. After having sometime to process it, that message continues to resonate with me today. When I soon found out that Ms. Murphy was moving on, I decided it was time for me to move on as well. I would be soon leaving for college, so the timing was perfect.
Off to UMass Lowell I go. My friend Jacob talked me into it. That peer pressure is serious. We were roommates there. things went fine until it was time for my first lecture class. Imagine the end zone of a football stadium being the lecture hall. I graduated from a small high school with 22 other students. So going from 22 classmates to over 400 did something to me. All the character building, all the self exploration became non existent. I tried everything. I went to the professor, I got a tutor, I even brought a tape recorder to record the lectures. I stood alone, helpless, and was starting to get angry about how things were going. Ms. Murphy's talk became so relevant once again. All I heard in my head was "I told you everything wouldn't be smooth sailing," as if she were standing on my shoulder. On my other shoulder was six pack of beer telling me to drink my problems away. That's exactly what I did. I went to every party, every night there was one. Drinking and going to parties became my school work. Jacob tried to get through to me, but that didn't last long. Bud Light became my books, and the brown bag it was in became my backpack. After 3 semesters, I became academically ineligible an was kicked out of school.
I had to move back home. Being there was like being on a battlefield. I had to do something, or I'd be kicked out the house for sure. My mother had zero tolerance for certain things, and doing nothing was one of them. My mom was a city employee. She had been for almost 30 years. She came home one day and gave me some paperwork. It was paperwork to take an exam for a job. I took the exam, and was quickly offered a job. It was a custodian position. I felt 15 again, starting all over. It's funny how life takes its many twists and turns. I became even more angry. I wanted better for myself. I started networking, meeting people, talking to people, seeking out my next stepping stone. I needed to channel this rage into something productive. I wanted to look into law enforcement. A few members of my family are police officers. I reached out to them, wanting to know about the process, and what I needed to do. I did the necessary paperwork, and signed up for the exam. I was nervous that day. There were thousands of men and women with the same objective as my own. We sat in a quiet, hot classroom crammed together like sardines in a can, sweating, looking at the clock making sure we had enough time to complete the exam. It then became a waiting game. Waiting by the phone, waiting by the mailbox for a sign of what's next. I finally got a letter telling me to report to headquarters in a suit and tie. I had to be there by 7:30 AM sharp, late comers would be turned away. I got no sleep the night before, and was there by 7 AM. After completing the process, I was eventually denied. I felt like I was stabbed in the chest. I was devastated, and saddened by what was happening to me. I'm beyond angry at this point, but I didn't give in easily. I appealed the decision, had my hearing, and was still denied without a clear reason as to why. I contacted a lawyer, and was told that to take my case, it would cost $10,000. I was left with two options. Come up with the money, or move on. I choose to move on. At the time, I couldn't take on such a financial burden. I had to think smarter, wiser. I still didn't give up. I went another direction. I found someone to recommend me to attend a police academy, put up my own money, attended, and graduated. I currently am a Boston School Police Officer. I enjoy my work, and it is here where I found my next stepping stone. I am back in school now. I want to see why our young people do what they do. I want to see why they go through what they go through, and find solutions to help them. There is still a common connection buried deep in this mess. Helping others is the person I've become. It's what I want to do. I'm very passionate about it. It took all the ups and downs, the set backs, the letters of denial, and the nights of going to bed crying for me to see my path. It's all up to me now. I had to learn the hard way, which was the intended plan for me from the start. I have no regrets with how things played out. I was exposed to life, how life is, and how life can be.
Working 3 days a week put some money in my pocket. I'm 15 years old, so any amount of money was good money to me. I had no bills, I had no responsibilities. Just me to worry about. I worked every weekend, that's when the store was its busiest. I met lots of people, and learned a few things along the way. The boss liked me. I knew a promotion was coming, Steve, my manager kept talking about it. Shortly after turning 16, I was trained to be a cashier. It was a big deal. Steve made sure to constantly remind me of that. Ms. Toon trained all of the new cashiers. I remembered her telling me that I had two left hands, because I couldn't figure out the swim technique, a constant flow of product moving over the scanner. I was very good at dealing with busy lines, and speaking with the customers. Ms. Toon liked that about me. She'd always praise me. That made my 16 year old head blow up like a balloon. Couldn't tell me anything. In those days, a kid being a cashier was a big deal. My friends were always jealous, I'd always have the newest sneakers on at school. I wasn't selfish though, I would treat my friends to candy and chips at the store before school. I worked at Star Market for about two years. At first, it was fun and games, but it soon got serious. As I started my second year working, people started looking up to me. People older than me were coming to me on how to do something at work. I knew how to handle it. I embraced it. I learned from it. I learned how to be a leader. That carried on with me throughout the years. I was vocal, and asked lots of questions. Not out of curiosity, but because I wanted to learn, I wanted to grow as an individual.
I worked plenty of jobs after Star Market. They all had one common factor, they were all leadership roles. Working at Star Market gave me a backbone. People knew when I was around. Being 16-17 years old, it was a lot to put on my shoulders, but I wanted it, I needed it. It was the underlining key to my later undiscovered success that I hadn't known about yet. I viewed things differently, I processed things at a much higher level. I wanted bigger and better. That was my mindset. That's what I worked towards. After I look back at things, I was put in positions and situations for a reason. People came in and out of my life for a purpose, always leaving something for me to remember before they moved on or stayed. I figured this out early on during my time at Star market. I remember working at Au Bon Pain as one of the managers. I worked my way from the bottom, and again my leadership driving me to the top. Ms. Murphy, the district manager took me under her wing. I used to tell her all the time that she should be worried about her job, because I was coming for it. We worked well together. She looked up to me, as I did her. One day I slipped up. I didn't open the store on time one morning. I was taken off the schedule for a week. I let Ms. Murphy down. It was difficult for me to face the music, but I knew eventually I had to. The following week, I was put back on the schedule. the store was open right on time with an early morning visit from Ms. Murphy. She sat me down and looked at me with her glasses hanging off her nose like they always do. She said "Do you know why I took you off the schedule?" I gave her the obvious answer. "Because I didn't open the store on time right?" She replied no, "that's why we have two managers open." She said that she wanted this to be a learning experience more than anything. She told me that it's important for me to learn hurt and failure early in life, and that it's not always going to be smooth sailing. At first, I thought it was sort of harsh. After having sometime to process it, that message continues to resonate with me today. When I soon found out that Ms. Murphy was moving on, I decided it was time for me to move on as well. I would be soon leaving for college, so the timing was perfect.
Off to UMass Lowell I go. My friend Jacob talked me into it. That peer pressure is serious. We were roommates there. things went fine until it was time for my first lecture class. Imagine the end zone of a football stadium being the lecture hall. I graduated from a small high school with 22 other students. So going from 22 classmates to over 400 did something to me. All the character building, all the self exploration became non existent. I tried everything. I went to the professor, I got a tutor, I even brought a tape recorder to record the lectures. I stood alone, helpless, and was starting to get angry about how things were going. Ms. Murphy's talk became so relevant once again. All I heard in my head was "I told you everything wouldn't be smooth sailing," as if she were standing on my shoulder. On my other shoulder was six pack of beer telling me to drink my problems away. That's exactly what I did. I went to every party, every night there was one. Drinking and going to parties became my school work. Jacob tried to get through to me, but that didn't last long. Bud Light became my books, and the brown bag it was in became my backpack. After 3 semesters, I became academically ineligible an was kicked out of school.
I had to move back home. Being there was like being on a battlefield. I had to do something, or I'd be kicked out the house for sure. My mother had zero tolerance for certain things, and doing nothing was one of them. My mom was a city employee. She had been for almost 30 years. She came home one day and gave me some paperwork. It was paperwork to take an exam for a job. I took the exam, and was quickly offered a job. It was a custodian position. I felt 15 again, starting all over. It's funny how life takes its many twists and turns. I became even more angry. I wanted better for myself. I started networking, meeting people, talking to people, seeking out my next stepping stone. I needed to channel this rage into something productive. I wanted to look into law enforcement. A few members of my family are police officers. I reached out to them, wanting to know about the process, and what I needed to do. I did the necessary paperwork, and signed up for the exam. I was nervous that day. There were thousands of men and women with the same objective as my own. We sat in a quiet, hot classroom crammed together like sardines in a can, sweating, looking at the clock making sure we had enough time to complete the exam. It then became a waiting game. Waiting by the phone, waiting by the mailbox for a sign of what's next. I finally got a letter telling me to report to headquarters in a suit and tie. I had to be there by 7:30 AM sharp, late comers would be turned away. I got no sleep the night before, and was there by 7 AM. After completing the process, I was eventually denied. I felt like I was stabbed in the chest. I was devastated, and saddened by what was happening to me. I'm beyond angry at this point, but I didn't give in easily. I appealed the decision, had my hearing, and was still denied without a clear reason as to why. I contacted a lawyer, and was told that to take my case, it would cost $10,000. I was left with two options. Come up with the money, or move on. I choose to move on. At the time, I couldn't take on such a financial burden. I had to think smarter, wiser. I still didn't give up. I went another direction. I found someone to recommend me to attend a police academy, put up my own money, attended, and graduated. I currently am a Boston School Police Officer. I enjoy my work, and it is here where I found my next stepping stone. I am back in school now. I want to see why our young people do what they do. I want to see why they go through what they go through, and find solutions to help them. There is still a common connection buried deep in this mess. Helping others is the person I've become. It's what I want to do. I'm very passionate about it. It took all the ups and downs, the set backs, the letters of denial, and the nights of going to bed crying for me to see my path. It's all up to me now. I had to learn the hard way, which was the intended plan for me from the start. I have no regrets with how things played out. I was exposed to life, how life is, and how life can be.
Work without reward
I swept floors and cleaned toilets for a living
People making money look at me grinning, cause they know I'm not winning
Cutting grass
Kissing ass
All for a small amount of cash
This nonsense had me mad
Packed my bags
Put a plan together fast
I need purpose
Make it all worth it
Had to stop the sudden urges
Of telling my boss to get lost
Or catch these knots from these rocks
Has to stop and regroup
Put my actions on mute
Execute an escape route
Had to let go of anger
Keep myself out of danger
Time to start from the top
Find my way
Craft my art
Time to do things with smarts
Wise up
play my part
Work without reward no more
Stay tuned for what's in store
Patrick,
ReplyDeleteAwesome post. Your stories, which focus on jobs and your eventual career path (up to this point) are very good - full of interesting details. I can tell that you enjoyed writing through these experiences and seeing a bigger picture start to take shape. I truly enjoy seeing your writing and your story unfold each week - and to see you put in such effort and heart. Very impressive.
Your stories are very relatable - feeling stuck in mediocre jobs, learning lessons along the way from good managers, the failures (I especially like your line about the brown bag becoming your backpack - great creative lines). Maybe you're only half way there... to your true calling.
But you seem to be on your way. That's for sure.
Your poem/rhyme this week is great. Tight lines, steady flow, and lots of personal insight. All the lines are good and straight to the point. I am going to challenge you with starting to add a little bit of abstraction into your poetry now - just to break away from the literal.
You have a line in here that, upon first reading, was confusing:
"or catch these knots from these rocks"
When I read it, it didn't seem to fit. Yet, it was one of the lines that struck me the most... because I didn't understand it right away. It made me think. And even if it was a line that you just through out there... it's a bit abstract. That's when the language trumps the content. That's when art starts to form and create itself.
Try to keep adding those abstract lines, the surprises, into your poetry. Let it happen, almost by accident... and see what kind of beauty unfolds.
GR: 96